Mog Log Blog

Dearie me! Dreadlock emergency with Her Catness this morning.

I have not been too well and am taking two types of anti-nausea medication. But when Her Catness jumped up on the bed this morning (thankfully I hadn't had breakfast yet), the cloacal smell from her back-end was so bad it set me off on 5 mins of the dry boaks.

Her usually white, fluffy and delightfully fragrant pantaloons were festooned with dangling, shit-matted dreadlocks, stinking to high heaven. Dreadfully undignified for Her and very unpleasant for Her human companions.

I instructed the troops to "Tool Up!", get on their body armour and apply cologne-soaked masks in preparation for de-dagging Her Catness.


Then with a cry of "Let's roll!" we launched into combat. Her Catness does not appreciate attention of any kind to her nether regions, and is equipped with claws and teeth to defend Herself. We had our first casualty before we even had Her restrained. Luckily it was not me.



She won this battle, and escaped under the kitchen cupboard for an hour or so before seeking human help again. This time I took the front end and simultaneously soothed and restrained Her while a platoon member got busy with the scissors at the back-end. She's happier and sweet-smelling again now.

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An anonymous, anti-social tosser (who is dead if I ever discover their identity) dumped a mattress out in my back garden. However, I now have a strapping laddie to do my manual labour, and Fraggle Friends to aid him. A few days ago, I instructed these troops also to “Tool Up!” and don binbags to save their clothes from soiling when moving the stinking, mouldy and now green mattress. They turned this into an opportunity to dress up as Adam Ant (with felt-pen make-up). That’s my Big Wan on the left.