Futures

Most top-quality experimental and clinical slug research continues to be conducted through funding by public bodies such as the MRC (in the UK) or NIH (in the US). Of course, only la creme de la creme (cf Miss Jean Brodie) are blessed, but at least we can be sure that this research is meritocratic rather than profit-driven, as when funded by Big Pharma.

My good friend George Bush II, erstwhile ruler of the world, stymied stem-cell research during his tenure because of his Born-Again religious objections to using foetal cells or cross-species methodology to ameliorate human disease.

Currrently, the 'Irish Candidate' (as my American dad refers to O'Bama) is slipping in the US polls, meaning that McCain and his running-mate Sarah Palin are in with a chance to become the face dictators of the world in Nov 2008.

While we all know the President and his VP are only front-figures (with the real power in the Pentagon), the November election could have serious impact on slug research. There have been enormous advances in scientific understanding and clinical applications of slug research (predominantly through cross-species models) in the last decade, many predicated on the assumption that humans are related to other life forms on Earth.

McCain, being rather crumbly by health and age, could kick off to the next plane anytime, leaving our young, vital and creationist hockey-mom Palin to assume Ruler of the World role. Is she going to fund the incredibly exciting recent research showing homologies of structure and function between nematodes, fruit flies, rodents and humans? No.

For in her belief set, G-d created all these species as unique and sui generis, and to mix them up is sinful. Any homologies are purely coincidental (maybe because He is constitutionally lazy and couldn't be bothered to re-engineer each of the individual species on Noah's Ark).

G-d, if he exists and happens to like humans (not that He should), would help us now and send Sarah an angel, an epiphany or a lightning bolt.