Botanics

I may not be the perfect parent, but those kiddos raised with their dad are not turning out half-badly so far as anyone can see. For 6 yrs they've spent half-time with their dad's rules at his house and half at mine with my rules, with no obvious ill-effects and only slight differences in house policy. We both want them to explore their potential and encourage their natural academic aptitudes. That's agreed, and neither kiddos are letting us down on this.

In addition, I want to let them become rounded social human beings, learn from adjustive social relations and develop human qualities and skills in an appropriate time-window. If they're caged until 16 (as sometimes seems the ex's model) it's just asking for trouble, misunderstanding and rebellion.

To our credit, their dad and I usually put up a united front to the kids on our agreed goals; loving the kids, doing our best for them as best we know how, helping them develop their talents. That's good, but when there's a unilateral declaration of a policy change without consultation, told to you by your kiddos, rapprochement can fall down.

Dear R. has heard this already at length during our daunder in the Botanics. I arrived like a hissing, spitting cat after the domestics, but once we got into nerd mode, talking about plant reproduction and catkins, admiring the new growth, snapping pickies of the trees, my muscles had softened. She and the Botanics have that effect on me.