End of an era

H.-who-is-very-good-to-me returned to work this week, marking an end to our Tuesday dog-walking and motivational therapy. H. can drive me to distraction with unsolicited advice, but I'm missing it badly already. It's so much easier to have an external than an internal locus of control. I think the Education Dept. should allow her a secondment to be my personal tutor- to hell with those needy, greedy schoolchildren. This timing is particularly poor because only this month I invested in a Thinsulate hat and padded gloves for dogwalking purposes- only £1 each at the pound shop! Jakeforth, the dog of my folks, will be pressed into service as replacement stooge to justify my strolls in the Braidburn. Unlike Reekster, however, he baulks when the weather is bad. Pussy.

Luckily the dogwalking regalia is coming in handy indoors for the new House Rules on energy consumption. The kiddos are beginning to catch onto 'the layered look' so fashionable in this household. After discussion with Scottish Power, the monthly direct debit has been reduced to only £85 pm (just 34% of Income Support!) pending further meter readings. With a little fortitude, we shall soon be in credit and able to negotiate a reasonable direct debit.

When there are such important matters to deal with as catkins, plant reproduction and three jobbie apps to complete, why oh why does Big Wan's High School bother me with nitpicking letters on my son's dress and timekeeping? I am well aware that he sometimes leaves the house a little late, but tardiness is a dominantly inherited family trait from his father's side. I can no more 'fix' this than the habit of fidgetting, following the same Mendelian pattern. It would be a better use of administrative time to keep me better informed on his test performance, in truth.

Last week was 'Focus on Dress Code Week', when pupils were subjected to compulsory uniform inspections in registration and other classes. You sent home a patronising leaflet explaining that 'pupils, teachers and parents agree' that Dress Code is a good thing, though I do not recall being canvassed. I have no objection to a uniform per se, but the infliction of a collar and tie seems unnecessary and cruel punishment. It is no surprise to hear that Big Wan has been losing his ties and being sent to the Office for replacements, since he habitually wears such as a headband outside of school hours. What other action could a self-respecting young adult take? If you promise to cease harassing me with petty foibles, I will undertake to buy a regular supply of neck-stranglers for him and you.