Big Wan's Birthday

Happy Birthday, Big Wan- 14 today, or 15 as the Koreans count it. I'm still repeatedly surprised that this young man, taller than me, could have come from me. Imagine!

This last year's changes in him remind why rites of passage are cross-culturally common around this age. Last year he was a child, but this a young man- I have to try to remember this and not call him Baby Joe anymore. Today, I'm thinking back to Fireworks Night when he was born, watching chrysanthemums bloom in the sky while I held him for the first time in a pethidine haze. Now his Auntie D. doesn't even recognise that new bass voice over the phone, and friends (girlfriends too) keep my line tied up all the time.

His dad and I both get on his case about the 'daydreaming attitude' mentioned in every one of his report cards from Primary 1 on, but secretly we both value and admire it. I couldn't think of a better future than a world of big wans, and when I look in his face I see a little of me, a little of his dad, but more of something entirely new, surprising and individual.

One of the things I love best about my lad is his refusal to despise me, at least yet. I still get lots of affection, and everyday happy experiences like cuddling up on the sofa to watch a Romero film together, or discuss our escape plan for when the zombie virus hits. We're planning to hole up on Inchcolm Island in the firth, because zombies can't swim, you know.