To the Education Authorities

Please stop writing to me with your petty nit-picking, form-filling problems. Have you no sense of level?

My son wore dark brown trousers instead of black, though with a school sweatshirt, and you wrote to me. His version of events was that the deputy head laughed off the nazi enforcer as absurd when he presented my son for remonstration.

This week my laddie forgets to hand in the note I wrote for 5th March when he was languishing on the couch with 'flu, and you write to me again. Please target your efforts to the more vulnerable pupils who doubtlessly need you, and leave my boy alone.

Yours faithfully, etc.
ion