Neighbour relations

AFAIK, the last person to officially sweep and mop my stair was me in Jan 2008, before tenant changes turned it all to shit. I swept again later last year when the Downstairs Neighbour, during the height of his complaints that I actually locomoted after midnight, put up a notice to the effect that spilled cat litter was making the stair stink. At that time, my feckless BW had spilled around 0.5 oz of cat litter from a leaking binbag, and I stepped up to the plate to solve his complaint.

Well, since then the two bad upstairs neighbours (there exist three, but only two bad yins) are doing worse things that DN could ever imagine. Because I'm too cheap to have a nameplate engraved for my door, my handwritten paper address nameplate gets torn off about once a week at 1am by screaming banshees. My 16 yr old BW (whose bedroom backs on the stair) had to go out at 3am last weekend to tell off people 10 years older than him for making anti-social rammies and leaving smoking litter in the stair. Even his Fraggle friends know this is unacceptable behaviour.

I've put up a notice tonight to respectfully ask all occupiers to ask their guests to dispose of their smoking litter responsibly. These born-in-a-barn over-privileged types leave their fag butts, packets and cellophane as litter in the stair and on the landing windowsills, expecting some maid to sweep up. Well, it ain't me who's leaving or cleaning it, even if DN would like it to be so.

Both DN and UN suspect or know I'm mad, especially after I circulated the communique last year that anyone re-aligning my aerial again would have their freeloading wiring excised. I am mad, but that doesn't mean I should accept stinky litter in my stair as just desserts. It's just not acceptable in an Edinburgh stair. I shall call in the Environmental Health to conduct DNA analysis of the fag-butts, if it doesn't get solved. That's how nuts I fucking am.