Headstones

It's time to commission the dear departed dad's headstone. I've been researching on and off for months, but it's now overdue for mum, sis and I (all shiksas) to get practical about it.

This job is a tough one because the dad is the first of his liberal Jewish congregation to be buried at their grounds and his stone will set a precedent. Responsibility!

Because proper Jewish ritual was important to the dad at the end, we reckon he'd want an inscription both in Hebrew and in English. This makes for a lot of text, and the Hebrew has certain traditional formats and phrasing that are very easy to get wrong.

It's traditional to denote Jewishness by symbolism (gender-dependent and tribe-dependent) and a header meaning 'Here lies' (gender-dependent). Then the dear departed's Hebrew name (a patronymic construction) and their dates in the Hebrew calendar. Date conversion from Gregorian to Jewish calendar are dependent on times of day as well as dates, and written calendrical dates in Hebrew are neither decimal in construct nor Arabic in notation. The traditional Jewish footer (a five-letter abbreviation) is often translated as 'may his soul rest in peace', but has a closer (and more lovely) meaning as 'may his soul be bound forever in the bonds of eternal life'.

The Orthodox community, who generously helped us with taharah and tachrichim at his death, will help us again with the Hebrew inscription.

Mum and the wee wan accompanied me to Piershill Cemetery today to view the current burial grounds of the local Orthodox Jewish community, to get some pointers. The headstones tend to be tall because of the dual-language inscriptions. Our own family taste is for small and simple, and we'll see how close we can get to this while satisfying form and format. Luckily, Mum has said that she doesn't want to be commemorated on the same stone (since she's not Jewish) which is just as well- there will be no room.