High season

For hairballs, from which Her Catness suffers badly at this time of the year. The hairball itself is easy to clean up, but the accompanying crunchy mush is not, especially as she always selects a carpet as the site to perform her reverse peristalsis. Unfortunately, I suffer badly from sympathetic boaks when dealing with vomit, especially of the meaty type, although wearing Marigolds tends to help. I'll spare the pics, as an act of altruistic kindness.

**Breaking news**

Overnight, an audacious assault on the giant new bag of original-style round cat crunchies was mounted. This morning, investigators found a PVC bag sprawled on the ground and crunchies spilling from a catufactured hole. Feline clawholes were evident and are now the subject of searches on clawprint databases. The bag was taken to hospital but released after treatment. So far, no witnesses have come forward but members of the public who may have information can call CatCrimeWatchLine on ....