Lady Bountiful

Apart from looking after Patient R., another friend in need of flying visit from Nurse Ion is Neez in London. N. ( aka Aunty Neez) is my oldest friend going back to schooldays, an 'Ackney ex-pat for 20+ years but still maintaining a impenetrable Edinburgh accent. My American friends and family all adore her, but can't make out a word she's saying.

N.'s been an diamond friend to me, inc. moving in with me for three months when I separated. N. was my witness both on my marriage and divorce certificates, and all we parties in this approved of the continuity. Now at age 42, she's unexpectedly but happily pregnant and growing a fine babby in her belly, due in early June. Nine weeks to go. The sonographer let his gender out when she said the babby was 'showing off' during a scan a few months ago.

It's a long and convoluted story, but N's indigent flatmate was only finally evicted (by her 6'2" skinheid partner) last week, leaving a morass of mess and filth in his/ the babby's room. She's been pushed to limit to get her extremely run-down council flat in a semblance of cleanliness and order before babby comes. I'm booking a train to go down with a sleeping bag, and give her and her man a hand with bleach, paint and draught-proofing tape. She's too big to do much in the way of physical things now, and her brain is mush with the hormones, so it's the least I can do.

I'm also trying to master enough crochet to make a blanket of afghan squares for babby. Heather gave me a demonstration, some wool oddments, a book and a hook to start me off. A babby should always have something hand-made.

PS I wasn't there to witness it, but apparently the run-up to flatmate's eviction incorporated a full-on EastEnders pub scene, when pregnant N. made a full-flown verbal assault on the flatmate in front of his mates, and flung his pint in his face. She's always looked like Kat, that N., or more like Kat's looked like her.