Back in Kansas

I love America. I love the TSA guards at airports specially. One at SD pounced on my lighters at the airport, and then punished me for attempting to board with these agents of terrorism by swabbing both lighters for drugs'n'splosives, with visible disappointment when the swab passed. Then he ejects my bag's contents into trays for a second, open X-ray inspection or spectators. I thoroughly enjoy displaying my medications, toiletries and stock of sanitary products to public view. Thanks pal! And also to you, the other TSA guard at the connecting airport, who doesn't know what 'TBIT' as gate number on a departure board means, and directs me through security again to reach customer service and learn this meant International Terminal.

Next I got seated next to a fat German guy for the long flight to Germany. He was so much less uptight than his tiny wife on his other side, who opted to wear an anti-birdflu mask during the flight. Unfortunately his relative ease involved oozing into my personal space even when he didn't intend to, and helpfully waking me at the window seat to say it was a good time for me to take a pee, when they did. Lucky for them I was taking Night Nurse on doctor's (i.e. my) orders, and was unusually torpid, even for me.

Back to why I love America. Another reason is access to the latest series of the A&E cable show, Dog (the Bounty Hunter), with sig tune wailed by Ozzy, and Dog looking like Keith Richards on a bad day after a bleach job. Dog has a current wife, Beth of the preternaturally large and upholstered bosom, and 14 kids of varying blondeness from 2 to 26 yrs, many of whom he and Beth employ in the family biz. Dog is an ex-perp turned good, and he lets his caught fugitives phone home to mom, and will recite a psalm with them on the way to jail. I can't recommend the DVD highly enough.