Exam hell

The Japanese talk of this, the pressure at an early age to acheive in a series of exams which determine long-term options across a lifespan. I thought I'd ditched that particular circle of hell some time ago, but this morning I was right back there, sneaking a fag outside of the English Higher - my first cigarette, as a point of fact. Now ~182,500 Silk Cut later, I curse that day. I wish I'd had as many shags as fags. Or rather less fags, more shags

Before the professional exam this morning, I was the only one of 20 candidates to be skulking out the back having a fly puff. The exam is f0r a US-based accreditation, clearly evidenced by the the byzantine cheating-security precautions enforced, like making us sign up at 7.15 am for an 8 am exam commencement, checking photo ID, no breaks in the 4 hr exam except for the toilet, not being allowed to take away the exam paper, and randomised questions in the papers. The exam was being taken at a similar time on 4 continents, with the absurd (and punitive) timing in the UK designed to prevent espionage across continents.

Professional standards are OK, like, but I have a problem with authority so imposed as if they're objective, valid and omnipotent. There were the three observed spelling mistakes in my paper, and one question had no acceptable logical answer, having been phrased in a double negative. Pissy as I am, a pass is not likely.

I pretended a toilet break in the middle of the exam, even after a real piss-break, in order to get a quick gasper. Not in the bogs (I try to maintain standards) but in a designated smoking area discovered in the bowels of the building. One gets an eye for these things. Now I wish I'd cheated really obviously. If only I'd taken in that damn ECG diagram...