What I did on my holidays

Away last week for a short sojourn Daan Sowf, during which I had the pleasure to admire a burgeoning home garden, eat its home-grown French Breakfast radishes (crisp, peppery pink & cream delights) and visit my godson. A lovely break. I only disgraced myself twice!

#1 Though normally abstemious, an atypical day-long ingestion of white wine, super-loaded spliffs and then a hypnotic (since I wasn't yet sleepy) brought on the first whitey I've had for years and years. Suddenly the room span, nausea gripped my guts and probably (though there were no witnesess) all colour drained from my face. Realising I might have over-egged the pudding, I took the physiological hints that I needed bed badly and now.

This was the cognitive aim when I purposefully stood up, but apparently autonomic physiology took over.

What my friend experienced:
A big percussive noise and an unconscious person lying on the floor. Initially rousable, but when lifted to the vertical passed out again. ?Stroke ?Fit ?Head injury

What I experienced (every point as if the first)
1. Need to get to bed- get up, stand up and move.
2. Fuck me- I'm lying on the floor, can see around but have no idea where I am. What have I done now?
3. Oh, here's friend coming to sort me out! Hi! Sorry I'm accidentally totalled! Thanks for lifting me up to get me to bed!
4. Fuck me- I'm lying on the floor, can see around but have no idea where I am. What have I done now? Uh-oh, this seems strangely familiar.

Of course there was no harm done, except to my dignity and my friend's blood pressure- and it has been literally 10 years since I last had such a proper whitey. No bad!

I'm knackered, so #2 will have to wait till later.