Crank up the amps to 11...

...A proven effective remedy when technical ability fails. In other words, read the fucking manual, or else you could end up with text reading like Burchill's voice sounds- a polystyrene squeak.

So abracadabra, alakazaam...
Let there be the word, and the first word shall be the Ramonas
Let there be the light, and the first light shall be Emma

Poof?